tired writing this

I am writing this from the library. First time coming here, and I think I am going to start to make a habit out of it. Habit out of going out of my house and doing work. Deep work. Focused work. Real work.

This is a theme in a lot of my writing lately. A grasping for doing real, actual work. I feel like I am devoid of that these days and well, it feels off. It feels off for a lot of reasons, but perhaps deepest as an attack of sorts to my identity.

Not that anyone else cares. I mean they don’t. But I do. I feel just silly looking back on my life without work I am proud. Not sure why that is a motivator of my own but it certainly feels that way.

But I don’t want to rabbit hole on that topic. Not right now.

I wanted to write about how at the gym everyone is working out with incorrect form. But then I realized I already wrote about that. Writing about something does not mean I am not able to write about it again. I mean that’s fine and all. But I want to go somewhere new.

My old topic. The topic I want to revisit. Is this idea of pulling people’s teeth. And friction.

See for a lot of my life and even now I tended to operate with this mentality of doing everything in my power to achieve my stated objectives and goals. And unlike many I tend to actually state micro objectives. Nearly always in my head. But often, and more often than less often, written out. Most people I find are just navigating relatively blindly forward and they do not really know where they are going and yet they feel upset once they get there. There are pros and cons to wandering. I am not going to get into that right now. But it’s actually a topic I have been reading more about lately and have been more interested in. Is planning worth it? Can you actually repeat greatness? These are things I think about these days.

Back to pulling teeth – just one of the many complex attributes of systems that involve humans (as opposed to closed loop computer systems that are, well, more deterministic).

Humans don’t really like being told what to do. This is weird. But I think it’s true. And it’s just a useful reminder that adults in particular do not like to be told what to do.

And you can try. And you can like optimize your message. You can even fool them into thinking you are not telling them what to do.

But eventually. Eventually they figure it out. And then at that moment they kinda ask themselves — do they actually want to be doing a thing? And if the answer is no? The core answer. If it’s no. Well, then, nothing really matters. Your message will be lost, and they will no longer act … predictably.

And so, for all the effort I’ve spent trying to get people to do the things I want. I think I could have instead just looked for people who genuinely in their heart wanted to do them.

And it would have been a lot easier.

Just my current guess.

Anyways, I got tired writing this.


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