ocpd

I have been told I have lots of things. Things as in like labels. Labels as in things like autism and others. I have been told these things by people I don’t necessarily trust. So..yeah.

One of the things – again, the many – I have been told I have is something called obsessive compulsive personality disorder. OCPD is what they call it. Because of course they love using acronyms to make you feel inferior. OCPD. And OCPD is about a type of personality disorder – that’s the grouping for what these things are called – disorders, really makes you feel good – that sticks with you after childhood. Childhood is when a lot of these things may form, and/or it may be a product of who you are as a person (DNA wise that type of stuff). Probably both.

What it means in practice – at least in my experience – is that I have a rather rigid set of values and principles from which I see the world. And when those break, I have a really tough time understanding why and beyond that understanding how to reconcile and ideally change things back to my point of view.

I’m obsessed with this. Some would say. I really really struggle with that reconciliation process.

I struggle to not be rigid. I feel compulsed to do things. I need to get a grip with this still.


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