can’t tell people what to do

You can tell people what to do, but this violates my newly discovered law — that no adults want to be told what to do, basically ever. They never want to think that they have lost agency. Unless, well unless of course they ask you something. If they ask you something, well then, it will be perceived like they are still in control of their future. Like they have still the wheel. But people don’t want to give up the wheel. So if you think you are inspiring people by giving them instructions on what to do, and checking in with them, etc. You’ll be disappointed I think. At least I have been. I thought that approach would work. It feels logical. But it failed. Consistently failed. Failed because I forgot about the law explained above. That law is so so powerful — it could take what seems to be logic and destroy it because, again, people want to feel like they have some amount of control over their life.

Of course, they relegate some of it. Or delegate. To governments and their managers and what not. And they do complain about those things. But basically they want to at least feel like they made that upstream decision. Like they don’t want that other life as part of their identity.

People just want to feel safe and like they are in control. Remind yourself that, in basically all situations.


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