Already seen

Have you ever experienced deja vu? Or have an idea of what it means?

The term “deja vu” itself is French and translates to “already seen.” It refers to the experience of experiencing something again.

A sensation that I would imagine you are familiar with—you find yourself in a place doing a thing, and get this strange eery feeling that you have been in said place doing said thing before.

Not in any sort of magical way—although perhaps you may bleed into another dimension—but rather in a sort of sensational way. Your spidey senses tingling of sorts, not sure precisely why you feel the way you feel but you feel as though you have already seen the story ahead of you play out.

Like you are watching a movie. You are playing a first person shooter game. Or rather, you are able to control the character from a distance. You feel dissociative to the moment. You are the narrator and able to control the pawns. Or worse, perhaps, you have no control but get to watch and re-watch the groundhog day esque scenario play out.

These are not dreams. Well perhaps they are. But you are awake. You are not sleeping through this experience. You feel it. At least you think you do. You think you have been here before — that is deja vu.

How much of your life have you already seen? When is the last time you did something for the first time?

These are questions top of mind for me lately? I am not consciously trying to slow down time — that whole exercise feels artificial and in fact a thing that tends to speed up time for me.

I am trying to be present, though, which is a similarly tricky exercise. Trying to be present may come to fruition in multiple ways, but I have been thinking about it in the context of removing distractions and triggers and unhealthy systems (modeled abstractly) from my default state such that I can get into a flow for a larger portion of my day.

This slows thing down. This also can be at odds with diversity. You could imagine reading the above and thinking about confining your system such that you control external influence.

This is one option.

Though it does not really satisfy me because it leads to lack of diversity in my life. I still want color.

I still want to see what I have not already seen.

So instead I think about systems as controlling what I can control but still setting myself up for variability. For spontaneity. For new. For new new. For new ideas and books and people and technologies – and adventures. While framing in the appropriate way such that my foundation is strong, protective over what matters most.