airport writing

I feel like I do some of my best writing while at the airport. Unclear what _best_ really means. But I feel like the airport is a place where I quite naturally get into a rather efficient flow state. You may have guessed that I am the type of person who gets to the airport a bit too early, basically always. I wonder what you can learn from knowing that about someone. I know I am coming early. But for some reason, I do it anyways. Maybe it’s because I like writing, and I know that sitting here on my laptop, with my own seat, is a pretty satisfying experience. Maybe it’s because I am anxious about a lot of things in life, and adding missing my flight to that list is really avoidable.

I feel that, for so many reasons, I am about to turn a page. More precisely, I am in the process of turning a page.

I have been struggling for many years. A first world struggle, to be clear. But one that has plagued my mental state for years. I feel like I’ve opened a new eye and have started to see the world through a different lens. A more positive one, really.

It has to do with understanding how to interact with the world. Not like a test question. Not like there’s a right way to do it. It’s just. It’s just I have been fighting battles for years now. And maybe. Maybe they are in my own head. Maybe they are not really needed to be fought. I am too close to them, maybe. And maybe zooming out would solve a lot of my problems. Breathing more. Smiling. Being lighter. More adaptable. Less rigid.

Sitting at the airport, weirdly, reminds me of these lessons. Because the airport for so many reasons is a bad place. It’s inefficient. People are people-ing as a friend always used to say. They are being gross and slow and just like…like they could be organized in a better way. Sometimes chaos happens. And things get loose. Like drama erupts. Public chaos of sorts. That’s the airport. The mess of the airport.

And in those moments – we have all been there, inevitably – we all have a choice to make. How are we to react? Are we to get all stressed out? Cause a fit? Or is possible to just be light? Like a feather. Not erupting but accepting. Accepting the flow of the stream and just allowing it to funnel through as we maintain a steady state. A weird piece of me enjoys that. Enjoys being still amidst chaos.

It feels like a lucky position to be in. I see others perhaps they are struggling with their kids who seem like chaos. And perhaps they have somewhere to be.

I don’t, really. I can just persist. Like a leaf sitting on a pond. I can just be.


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