fully you

There are countless books and articles and people giving talks about how to do everything and anything. You can (and if you try hard enough, likely will) get lost in this sauce. This is a note to myself more than anything. The sauce is thick. It kinda sucks. The right thing to do – the thing that’ll satisfy you most – is just to think for yourself. Just be you, fully. I mean don’t hurt other people. Like not in any material way. Do no wrong, etc. (though expect other people to be both more resilient than you think but also more sensitive — tricky, you may get caught on this if you think too much about it, too, which you probably will because these days you tend to overthink nearly everything. Chronic overthinker, perhaps — perhaps?! says the guy who literally has a blog writing a million words. Oops, revealed that I’m a guy. Not overthinking that one. It was obvious in the writing anyways…or was it?).

Just be you fully is both awesome and totally lame advice. If you told me this advice when I first turned 18 – to just be the most version of you you can possibly be with your life. I’d hesitate. I’d look at you. And I would probably throw a sarcastic thank you in your direction.

It’s lame advice because it’s obvious.

It’s obvious because it’s right.

And it’s obvious + right, yet so few people do it, because it’s hard. Thus, we conclude it’s lame because it’s both obvious and hard. What other options do we have? When we see something where we know the right answer, and yet we don’t do it — we must default to concluding that it’s lame. But it’s not lame. It’s correct.

We should be fully ourselves more than anything that’ll bring us the most satisfaction. Fully us. Us versus us.

Just being you fully doesn’t mean not caring what other people think. I think that’s a misinterpretation or miscommunication.

You can care what other people think – if that’s what your gut tells you to do. You can also not, again, totally up to you.

When people try to tell you to change, well, that’s not you being you. Unless of course in your gut that change feels right.

It’s hard to know if your gut is talking or if you are under the influence. Under the influence not of alcohol but of advice.

We are all under the influence of our systems. They are all around us. Infecting our brains with so called logic and emotion that sway us in directions we are sometimes aware of, but very often not. Logic may be easier to spot. Do this then that etc. But emotions. Emotions – pathos or whatever the appeal to your emotions are, your heart rather than your brain perhaps…those are powerful. Your heart controls your brain more than we acknowledge. We often do illogical things, knowing they will be bad for us — but also knowing they will satiate our emotions.

Some people are really good at storytelling. Sales. Influence. They are really convincing.

That can be dangerous. Makes it hard to fully be you in their presence. Not just because of them. Because it’s hard to know if you can trust your gut or if you are being influenced.

That friction is tricky for people to navigate.

One solution is time. Time tends to help us separate influence from our gut intuition.

Just giving things more time.

Which is ~funny because, well, as young people especially we want to move quickly. We’re in a rush. Even though we have the most time and energy. Weird how that works. We have more time. But we also have impatience. Impatience can be good, too. It’s your gut talking to you.

But again tricky to navigate when we’re doing things because of our gut or because we’ve been influenced by some part of the system.

Generally we die way before we actually die. Because well we’ve been influenced like a boa constrictor and restricted from our own thinking. The system takes hold of us.

I’m not talking about one particular system. I’m talking about this idea of being able to think clearly at all.

Clarity is the word that I’m after these days. But not in some grand sense. Not like clarity of how to spend my life.

I mean more in a single conversation. In a single moment. How can I be clear minded?


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